As I write, the Christmas ministry season has just about come to a close. In the midst of all the comings and goings this time of year brings, God gave me a sweet moment that I believe is worth sharing.
As all the commitments begin to taper off, the cloud of uncertainty has made its rather unwelcomed visit. Every now and then I go through the dreaded doubt cycle. Some may call it my “Eeyore” stage, as it typically involves a full ministry evaluation, with the final questions being: Should I keep singing, or shouldn’t I? Is God done with me? Am I chasing a dream that was never meant for me? Yes, you would think I had this figured out by now.
I prayed for God’s direction, asked my prayer team for support and, like clockwork, I received what I believe to be His answer.
Loving Christmas as I do, I grabbed my camera to quickly take a picture of our outdoor Christmas lights. My young neighbor hopped in his car to run off somewhere, and then it happened. Strong, began blaring through His car stereo. As I walked back into the house, I remembered him mentioning that he had listened to and liked the music, but now I actually heard it with my own ears. Admittedly, it put a big smile on my face.
This was also the same night we had planned to watch It’s A Wonderful Life. The protagonist of the film, George Bailey, responded to the value of his life and efforts (in a somewhat similar way) by wondering, “Has anything I have done made a difference?” Through his questioning and massive sense of failure, however, he felt it would be best to take matters into his own hands and give up on life altogether (a bit more extreme conclusion). God and George’s guardian angel, Clarence, showed him what the small town of Bedford Falls would have been like if he had never lived at all.
Between the sound of my neighbor’s car stereo and the cries of George Bailey, God brilliantly answered my questions of doubt and I thought, “What if our songs were never sung? What if they were never written and played at all?” On occasion, God gives us a glimpse of heaven. He lets us hear our songs ringing out in car stereos, we get a random note from a stranger who has been encouraged, or we see the tangible signs of God moving hearts at an event.
A true friend of Christ serves without reward, but those special winks from Heaven certainly make a difference when “Eeyore” steps in.
It is easy to become addicted to approval and busyness. Yet when God calls us to those quiet seasons, it is so important not to misunderstand its purpose or view it as a measurement of His love for us. There also comes a point when we have poured out for so long our vessels are depleted and we desperately need replenishment.
Jesus spent 30 years of His life being filled and prepared. If we misconstrue a learning season or time of rest as a sign to throw in the towel, thus deciding on God’s behalf that we are no longer suited for use, we will miss the magic. We will miss hearing our song being played from a neighbor’s car stereo and trusting the Holy Spirit is at work in the life of the listener.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them,” which reminds us that amid of all our planning, goal setting, and dreaming, it is God who is writing the story. So often, we have dreams of reaching the masses, when there are people living next door who have no eternal security. I don’t know about you, but I am thankful that in the moments when I am preoccupied with purpose and calendar dates, His eye is on the sparrow, the lost neighbor, and the grocery store clerk. God always has a way of showing us what truly matters.
