I remember a time (many years ago) when I hurt someone deeply. It quickly became obvious that their goal was to hurt me back times 10,000. While I knew I had contributed to the problem, the viciousness of this person’s response made me fume. Every part of me wanted to see them pay. I was a new Christian at the time of their retaliation and my encounters with the Holy Spirit were still somewhat foreign. But I will never forget that powerful, heart-check moment when the Spirit of God impressed these words upon me:
“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:17-19).
Ah, yes, the log in my own eye is to be my only concern. There was no question what God was asking of me. And so, I let go. I relinquished my hurts into the hands of Jesus, and I walked away from vengeance. As a result, I was delivered… not from the vindictiveness of the other person, but from my own broken nature and old patterns.
I was miraculously set free and then, from my new vantage point, witnessed what bitterness does to the soul. The person who insisted on continually inflicting hurt experienced years of loss. Pain upon pain. Not at all what I wanted for them, but a byproduct of a heart void of God’s love and wisdom.
We know that unforgiveness hurts us more than it ever hurts the other person. Jesus taught us all about turning the other cheek and going the extra mile, not to mention His radical seventy-times-seven forgiveness formula. (Matthew 18:22) There is no point in calling down more pain on a person from heaven. God won’t answer that prayer and He will not honor any attempt at vengeance. It is up to Him and His understanding of the heart.
If someone is out to cause you grief, as counter-intuitive as it may be, I encourage you to respond God’s way. The Holy Spirit’s tap (or taps) upon your shoulder will lead you into a place where pain can no longer multiply itself in your heart. This definitely leaves a lot more room for the good stuff.
