“Perfect love casts out all fear, but it is only God’s love that is truly perfect.”
I’ve worked hard at my craft over the years, but those moments still come along that make me want to cringe: a slightly pitchy note, misspelled word, bad wardrobe choice, or an incomplete thought or point.
This is completely normal, but it seems like the biggest bloopers occur when I am in front of the largest crowds. Anyone else? I suppose that is why public speaking and singing is such a huge fear for most people. It comes with great risk to the ego.
I had an experience recently where “it” happened again… the blooper… well, bloopers, actually.
If it was “American Idol,” it would have been my final week.
Every ounce of me wanted to deliver my songs with the utmost excellence, but it just didn’t happen. From my perspective, I let the people down who trusted me with the task. I had forgotten the words.
Can any good come out of the moments in our lives or careers when we feel like nothing more than a failure? I believe so, if we are willing to wait on God before throwing our hands in the air and deciding we have run our last race.
Over the last fifteen years of ministry, there have been times when I overpromised and underdelivered—and vice versa. Each experience provided an opportunity to learn from the One who made my appointments in the first place.
The internal and external critics can be deafening, but God always has the final say.
It’s probably a little different for everyone, but there are several valuable truths that have helped me rise above the inner critic and the competitive nature of society.
1. Take responsibility.
No one has more skin in the game than you do, so ultimately you must take full responsibility for your own growth or professional development. Whether it’s a blog, a book, or a performance that falls flat, the question should always be, “What can I do to improve my craft when the next assignment comes along?”
The comforting part is, if what you are engaged in is God’s will for your life, there will be another assignment. Watch, listen, and critique your efforts so you can become the best edition of yourself you can be.
2. Ask, “Is my name on it?”
Though I “bloopered” that public performance and understand how to do a better job next time, it was not exactly in line with my ministry passion. Yet by walking through the opened door, I was able to see (once again) that not everything is a fit. And that is OK.
I heard Christine Caine say recently, “I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to do anything that doesn’t have my name on it.” How true it is. This is where I need to be comfortable saying “no” from time to time.
3. Keep your eyes upon the Father.
As I went forward to sing for the final time at the event—while blushing and fearful of messing up again—I suddenly got this picture of my heavenly Father calling me over to Him and saying,
“Mary, come near. Sit with me and sing me that lovely song once more. I love to hear the voice I gave you.”
It occurred to me, perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18), but it is only His love that is truly perfect. Sadly, not all people will love you perfectly.
If I take my eyes off the Lord and look to others for approval, it’s astonishing how quickly I can enter a place of fear. Like Peter walking on water, lose focus and you can sink rather quickly.
We need to grow, seek excellence, and make choices that align with our giftings, but I will say this: after 15 years of working hard, honing my craft, struggling with confidence and praying God would bring forth a harvest from my branches, the understanding I received through the visual of me sitting with my Father—singing to Him—is what I would deem the purest understanding of worship. Comprehending this allows me to take a deep breath and keep moving forward. He is the real audience and well-formed love—God’s love—is free of fear.
Failures, though never welcome, can be the very thing God uses to remind us of what matters most to Him. Have you taken your eyes off of the Lord? I trust He is waiting to hear your beautiful song as well.
If a deafening, awkward moment comes your way, I pray you can sit back and allow God to unpack your experience. Assuredly, the enemy wants you to sink, but God will help you see a bit more clearly, grow, and stay above the water.
Originally Published on Dawn Wilson’s “Upgrade With Dawn” July 21, 2015. Updated 9/4/2023.
